Investment Bankers

Investment Bankers, bah, Investment Bahenchods. I am getting sick of the entire lot. Their every move is headline news. For example, yesterday's top business story is that Goldman Sach's top trader drives a Honda Civic. Last week, the company visits of Citibank, UBS and Credit Suisse sent SMU into a collective orgasm. All over this university, people are either studying finance subjects or applying for investment banking internships. Lest I be lynched by the people who know me, I did read that story, have that orgasm (and clutching my crotch, attend those talks), I do finance and applied for 4 investment banking internships in 3 days.

This doesnt mean I can't hate the phenomenon.

Its insane to fawn upon the world of high finance when all they do is arrange deals for companies doing more real-world, difficult stuff. Who you think puts the Invest in Investment Banking. Companies, high-net-worth individuals, insurance companies and pension funds provide the stardust and frog's blood for investment bankers to work their evil magic. Through the latter two institutions, you and I give the IBahens a tidy chunk of their holdings. Why do we not adore the CEOs and managers who manage to sell us bread, butter, cheese, milk, tea, coffee, soap, water and electricity. Life would be shitty without those things, while life without you're 12% returns would still chug along at a merry pace. Yes, I know, investment banks help consumer companies function. According to that logic, we should admire the legal, operations and advertising departments of these consumer goods firms. But we dont. And that's wrong.

So please dont apply for those internships.