Was I imagining things or did all South Asian cricket teams gel at the same time today? In exactly the same manner?
First the Sri Lankans demolished the West Indians for 130 all out, with some ferocious pace bowling from Lasith Malinga and the practised guile of Murali, then proceeded to pile on a hefty lead of 350+ (a huge score considering the low scoring nature of the match). Later in the day, India proceeded to slog their way to 250, then with a calculated and sublime seam bowling effort reduced South Africa to nothing for six. Further down the day, back home in the sub-continent, the Pakistani pace attack struck late to keep the West Indies down to 230-ish, despite a century from Shivnarine Chanderpaul (the immigration officer who let his family leave India should be found and shot).
I think the South Asian teams have finally learned the value of technique, application and patience on bouncy tracks. Sub-conti teams have also learnt to dish out the same out/in-swingers, yorkers and bouncers that have been making them miserable just a few wees ago. Malinga, Murali, Sreesanth, Zaheer, Gul and Naved have shown that Sub-conti bowling attacks are far from tooth-less and can actually be match winners, especially when the much vaunted brown batting line-ups arent exactly in the best of form. That being said, select batting stars have also gotten the measure of the bouncy wickets on offer in New Zealand and the West Indies. Most notable among these these are Kumar Sangakara and Sachin Tendulkar who are in blistering form, though both slightly unlikely in their most recent innings.
In summary, South Asian teams seem to be on the upswing and we can only hope that they maintain this momentum and peak during the World Cup. A repeat of the dismal Champions Trophy performances would really be an insult to Cricket's largest fan-base.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
India Rocks...but...Part 1
I've just returned from the mothership, the mainland, the land of the Blue Billion. India is truly a vast and amazing place. It is diverse to a head-splitting extreme from the Leela Palace Hotel resplendent between two shady buildings in Banglore to the Sikh businessmen in a Hugo Boss suit calmly stepping over a weepy, deformed beggar. But these are all cliches you've heard before, from countless writers: novelists, traveller, businessmen and journalists. Most of these distinguished folk are far more gifted pensmen than I am, so I will spare you my Indian metaphors. But I do want to share with you my far more easily expressed observations on the failings of modern India.
Delhi for starters. This City of Djins is probably one of the driest, dustiest cities known to man. The fact that all public transport has been converted to LNG does not hide the fact that the single-minded pursuit of power, money and position has trumped environmental concerns since the city's inceptions. The city looks brown from the air and the expected dustbowl materialises as soon as one steps out of the international joke that is Indira Gandhi International Airport (it is puny, dirty, inefficient and the security would give the most lax Sri Lankan official the runs). The air hangs thick with an exotic cocktail of fine dust, exhaust fumes and all manner of organic smells. I contracted a cough the day I landed and it has not left me yet. Late at night, the environment of Delhi decides that strangulation is not vile enough revenge on its pesky human inhabitants, and the air congeals into the oft-quoted "fog". These three letters scarely begins to describe the solid wall of dangerous looking gas that engulfs pedestrians, slows traffic and grounds planes.
The fog, dust and general atmospheric malaise of Delhi can all be attributed to the city's love affair with automobiles. The roads of Delhi resemble a giant Maruti factory. Even teenagers zip around in these pint-sized miracles of subsidized Indian manufacturing. These "kids" are speed demons in their own mad-cap manner. They change lanes the way normal people change socks and the sound of horns deafens even the blaring Punjabi rap emnating from most of the vehicles. The city's elder citizens crawl through the city's hour-long, sprawling, snaking traffic jams in stately, spotless luxury vehicles, earnest Ambassadors or smoke spewing second-hand-imported-sedans. An irony of Delhi (and India's) destructive car culture is that the names of the children of any family are gaily embalzoned on bumper sticks (Rahul and Rani are apparently very common names in India), while the fuel-stained spewings of the family vehicle destroy those very children's present and future health. Private citizens of Delhi may take offence at my critique of Delhi's car culture and respond that the city's public transport infrastructure is inadequate, unsafe and unhealthy. This is true, but in the words of a journalist I recently met, I am simply describing, not proscribing.
Apparently the water in Delhi is also undrinkable, resulting in the famed "Delhi Belly". The description of this dreaded affliction caused me to live with dry lips over my four day stay in the city. Despite these precautions though, I still contracted The Belly from street food eaten the day before I left to Goa. An entire day in paradise was wasted vomiting and purging, then sleeping off the resulting dehydration and exhaustion. The one useful tidbit of advice I can offer an traveller to Delhi is: Dont be Cheap. The city has excellent restaurants serving every cuisine available, please shell out and save yourself hours of agony. Ofcoure the more adventurous of you will ignore my advice and try street food come what may, for its smell, colour and taste entice you like the most buxom of Bollywood starlets. Then again, there are also idiots who base-jump for the same sort of cheap thrill. To each his own.
For the by-now-engraged Delhi-ite reading my blog, I have come to the end of my discussion of the failings of India's capital city, literally its gateway to the wider world. I really did love the city, for the beauty of its buildings and people, for the exquisiteness of its food, for the vibrancy of its colours, for the vitality of its roads and markets, the value and range of its shopping and the warmth and hospitality of my Delhi-ite friends. But, as in India in general, the greatness of Delhi is simply the iron will of Indians trying to make do with a badly planned, poorly policed and broadly incorrigible city who's form and growth is far, far beyond their control. The citizens of Delhi have to take control over a city they so clearly-dearly love, to ensure that businessmen, tourists and Indians themselves can be welcomed by a truly global Capital.
Delhi for starters. This City of Djins is probably one of the driest, dustiest cities known to man. The fact that all public transport has been converted to LNG does not hide the fact that the single-minded pursuit of power, money and position has trumped environmental concerns since the city's inceptions. The city looks brown from the air and the expected dustbowl materialises as soon as one steps out of the international joke that is Indira Gandhi International Airport (it is puny, dirty, inefficient and the security would give the most lax Sri Lankan official the runs). The air hangs thick with an exotic cocktail of fine dust, exhaust fumes and all manner of organic smells. I contracted a cough the day I landed and it has not left me yet. Late at night, the environment of Delhi decides that strangulation is not vile enough revenge on its pesky human inhabitants, and the air congeals into the oft-quoted "fog". These three letters scarely begins to describe the solid wall of dangerous looking gas that engulfs pedestrians, slows traffic and grounds planes.
The fog, dust and general atmospheric malaise of Delhi can all be attributed to the city's love affair with automobiles. The roads of Delhi resemble a giant Maruti factory. Even teenagers zip around in these pint-sized miracles of subsidized Indian manufacturing. These "kids" are speed demons in their own mad-cap manner. They change lanes the way normal people change socks and the sound of horns deafens even the blaring Punjabi rap emnating from most of the vehicles. The city's elder citizens crawl through the city's hour-long, sprawling, snaking traffic jams in stately, spotless luxury vehicles, earnest Ambassadors or smoke spewing second-hand-imported-sedans. An irony of Delhi (and India's) destructive car culture is that the names of the children of any family are gaily embalzoned on bumper sticks (Rahul and Rani are apparently very common names in India), while the fuel-stained spewings of the family vehicle destroy those very children's present and future health. Private citizens of Delhi may take offence at my critique of Delhi's car culture and respond that the city's public transport infrastructure is inadequate, unsafe and unhealthy. This is true, but in the words of a journalist I recently met, I am simply describing, not proscribing.
Apparently the water in Delhi is also undrinkable, resulting in the famed "Delhi Belly". The description of this dreaded affliction caused me to live with dry lips over my four day stay in the city. Despite these precautions though, I still contracted The Belly from street food eaten the day before I left to Goa. An entire day in paradise was wasted vomiting and purging, then sleeping off the resulting dehydration and exhaustion. The one useful tidbit of advice I can offer an traveller to Delhi is: Dont be Cheap. The city has excellent restaurants serving every cuisine available, please shell out and save yourself hours of agony. Ofcoure the more adventurous of you will ignore my advice and try street food come what may, for its smell, colour and taste entice you like the most buxom of Bollywood starlets. Then again, there are also idiots who base-jump for the same sort of cheap thrill. To each his own.
For the by-now-engraged Delhi-ite reading my blog, I have come to the end of my discussion of the failings of India's capital city, literally its gateway to the wider world. I really did love the city, for the beauty of its buildings and people, for the exquisiteness of its food, for the vibrancy of its colours, for the vitality of its roads and markets, the value and range of its shopping and the warmth and hospitality of my Delhi-ite friends. But, as in India in general, the greatness of Delhi is simply the iron will of Indians trying to make do with a badly planned, poorly policed and broadly incorrigible city who's form and growth is far, far beyond their control. The citizens of Delhi have to take control over a city they so clearly-dearly love, to ensure that businessmen, tourists and Indians themselves can be welcomed by a truly global Capital.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Peace and its Perils - More lessons from Nepal?
Though peace seems a distance prospect in Sri Lanka, a recent BBC article on Nepal really got me thinking. Apparently the Moaists rebels, especially "empowered teens", refuse to give up their weapons, even when expressly ordered to do so. They say that they have grown to like the gun culture and see weapons as the source of their respect and legitimacy and thus, giving up their weapons is the same as surrendering. They have thus far resisted the rehabilititation process to the point of "threatening rehabilitation workers" and "hiding knives in their beds".
I see disturbing parrallels with the Sri Lankan scenario in that both sides employ vast legions of very young soliders, who's dreary, poverty-wracked lives have been uplifted and given meaning and respectability by fighting the good fight. The LTTE cadres will be worst hit by peace, as they will have lay down their arms and try to integrate themselves in a country that, at best, think they are all a bit mad. Further, carrying a gun and being part of the world's best terrorist organisation and one of the largest drug smugglers is South Asia is much easier than growing rice or chilli in Trinco, or studying Computer Science in Jaffna. There is atleast a reward for the risk.
It is clear that former terrorists will have to be rehabilitated into an economic, social and political system that they abandoned in the first place. It will be not enough to simply devolve power to the big-wigs and political apparatus of Terrorist groups, the demands on the grassroots cadre will have to be addressed and actually provided for. If not, hopes for peace could disintegrate into a thousand personal wars.
For some of my readers, all this TLC for former terrorists might sound shocking coming from me. Let me assure I am not their side. How any terrorist organsiation comes to the negotiating table (except in surrender), is a perversion of civilised human conduct and undermines the legitimacy of a country's entire political and legal system. But we live in times where great prosperity greets times of peace and great hardship results from war. We therefore have to embrace peace. At any cost.
I see disturbing parrallels with the Sri Lankan scenario in that both sides employ vast legions of very young soliders, who's dreary, poverty-wracked lives have been uplifted and given meaning and respectability by fighting the good fight. The LTTE cadres will be worst hit by peace, as they will have lay down their arms and try to integrate themselves in a country that, at best, think they are all a bit mad. Further, carrying a gun and being part of the world's best terrorist organisation and one of the largest drug smugglers is South Asia is much easier than growing rice or chilli in Trinco, or studying Computer Science in Jaffna. There is atleast a reward for the risk.
It is clear that former terrorists will have to be rehabilitated into an economic, social and political system that they abandoned in the first place. It will be not enough to simply devolve power to the big-wigs and political apparatus of Terrorist groups, the demands on the grassroots cadre will have to be addressed and actually provided for. If not, hopes for peace could disintegrate into a thousand personal wars.
For some of my readers, all this TLC for former terrorists might sound shocking coming from me. Let me assure I am not their side. How any terrorist organsiation comes to the negotiating table (except in surrender), is a perversion of civilised human conduct and undermines the legitimacy of a country's entire political and legal system. But we live in times where great prosperity greets times of peace and great hardship results from war. We therefore have to embrace peace. At any cost.
Emergency Law imposed - Repressive or Required?
The next few months will be a testing time for ordinary Sri Lankans as the security forces have been given sweeping powers to stop, question, arrest and interrogate anyone they deem a threat to national security. In summary, its a hardcore version of the U.S anti-terror bill. The results on Colombo life will be grave.
Tamil people in Colombo are already edgy from the one-every-three-km security stops, and the imposition of the Emergency Law will do nothing to relieve the tension. I think we'll see a huge decrease in the night-time festivities and other outdoor socialising. Further, my pet peeve of airport security and customs will be be exacerbated as the security forces take every effort to root out terrorism in the commercial and tourist nerve centre of the country.
I am really torn on this law. On the personal level, as Tamil on holiday in Sri Lanka and who will be holidaying in India, I am extremely concerned. I expect to be harassed or question at every turn. As a Sri Lankan though, I feel sad to say that there is really no other choice for the Sri Lankan government. Fighting an enemy that uses suicide bombers and sleeper cells, really involves treating every citizen as a potential combatant.
I pray that the Sri Lankan security forces show restraint and do their job in an efficient and civilized manner. I also hope that nothing untoward happens to any citizen of Sri Lanka, Tamil or Sinhala. The one thing our country doesn't need is more people bearing grudges.
Tamil people in Colombo are already edgy from the one-every-three-km security stops, and the imposition of the Emergency Law will do nothing to relieve the tension. I think we'll see a huge decrease in the night-time festivities and other outdoor socialising. Further, my pet peeve of airport security and customs will be be exacerbated as the security forces take every effort to root out terrorism in the commercial and tourist nerve centre of the country.
I am really torn on this law. On the personal level, as Tamil on holiday in Sri Lanka and who will be holidaying in India, I am extremely concerned. I expect to be harassed or question at every turn. As a Sri Lankan though, I feel sad to say that there is really no other choice for the Sri Lankan government. Fighting an enemy that uses suicide bombers and sleeper cells, really involves treating every citizen as a potential combatant.
I pray that the Sri Lankan security forces show restraint and do their job in an efficient and civilized manner. I also hope that nothing untoward happens to any citizen of Sri Lanka, Tamil or Sinhala. The one thing our country doesn't need is more people bearing grudges.
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Off to see Big Brother...aja aja aja aaaaaah
In the middle of Colombo, there is a huge poster of Mahinda Rajapakse shaking hands with Manmohan Singh, with a caption that reads "New strong relationship with Big Brother". This poster is a symbol of the new spirit of Indo-Lanka ties. Sri Lanka no longer gets to deride India as its struggling, rustic, poverty-ridden neighbour, but rather has/is forced to recognise/use its superpower neighbour. Big Brother really does watch over us all in South Asia these days.
I'm off to see the newer, richer Goonda on the block come Thursday. The ticket has finally been purchased. I will be landing in Delhi on the 7th afternoon. By the 7th night I should be eating Punajabi-by-Nature food and head-bobbing to Jalaakthikaaajaaaaaaaaa. The 8th should bring a hangover and new experiences as I travel to Agra, to see the Taj Mahal, the most magnificent monument to love and most convincing argument for birth control (Mumtaz Mahal died giving birth to her 14th child). Sunrise on the 9th will see my jetting to the most sun-kissed of Indian Shores, Goa. After venerating the never-decaying body of St. Francis Xavier, its off to the beaches, pubs and raves for a not entirely spiritual 3 evenings. I will be returning to Delhi on the 12th and catching the next flight to see the loved one and other friends in Bangalore. Or Bengaluru. In the city of boiled beans, I will most probably be catching up on Tamil and Telugu television, my friends in that city not being the most happening people in town. Or they might surprise me. I could very well be sipping Black Russians in the FTV bar for all I know. Mystery and pleasures of the flesh await and abound. On the 15th, its back to Delhi and a race to the airport to catch my flight back to Colombo.
Like any true expatriate, I am as home sick in Colomob as I am in Singapore (well maybe a BIT less). In light of my recent Desi-isation, I hope that India will make feel at home for a while. I will be sure to keep you guys informed, so watch this space.
I'm off to see the newer, richer Goonda on the block come Thursday. The ticket has finally been purchased. I will be landing in Delhi on the 7th afternoon. By the 7th night I should be eating Punajabi-by-Nature food and head-bobbing to Jalaakthikaaajaaaaaaaaa. The 8th should bring a hangover and new experiences as I travel to Agra, to see the Taj Mahal, the most magnificent monument to love and most convincing argument for birth control (Mumtaz Mahal died giving birth to her 14th child). Sunrise on the 9th will see my jetting to the most sun-kissed of Indian Shores, Goa. After venerating the never-decaying body of St. Francis Xavier, its off to the beaches, pubs and raves for a not entirely spiritual 3 evenings. I will be returning to Delhi on the 12th and catching the next flight to see the loved one and other friends in Bangalore. Or Bengaluru. In the city of boiled beans, I will most probably be catching up on Tamil and Telugu television, my friends in that city not being the most happening people in town. Or they might surprise me. I could very well be sipping Black Russians in the FTV bar for all I know. Mystery and pleasures of the flesh await and abound. On the 15th, its back to Delhi and a race to the airport to catch my flight back to Colombo.
Like any true expatriate, I am as home sick in Colomob as I am in Singapore (well maybe a BIT less). In light of my recent Desi-isation, I hope that India will make feel at home for a while. I will be sure to keep you guys informed, so watch this space.
Akhtar and Asif back - but is it fair?
A three man Pakistan Cricket Board tribunal has decided, 2 to 1, that Akhtar and Asif had unknowingly consumed steroids as part of their supplement dosage. While I am overjoyed at the prospect of Pakistani pacemen force-feeding Aussie and South African batsmen some of their own medicine, I have serious reservations about the effects the PCB's unilateral decision will have on doping in cricket:
1. The PCB has unilaterally declared Akhtar and Asif not-guilty of doping. The ICC has yet to even comment on the matter and the World Anti-Doping Agency is toothless in this jurisdiction. Does this mean that any cricket board can exonerate their players of doping charges? That too without unanimity, but rather 2-1 in 3 man tribunal. What if Tendulkar is caught cheating, or Jayasuriya. Surely the respective boards would love to save their careers and the team's chances. Shouldn't the ICC be the body with the final say on this matter.
2. Asian teams risk losing the goodwill of other teams in the sport. We got our way with Darrell Hair. If we want cricket to remain non-politicised, South Asian teams should be more responsible when playing by the rules. Akhtar and Asif were found with banned substances in their body. The fact that they may have not knowingly ingested them, is a failure of the Pakistani Cricket establishment and not really the concern of the ICC, or the other teams.
3. I can see Akhtar and Asif being sledged and abused if they play again. While this would still be untoward and unseemly, it would be very hard to fault the other teams. This creates deadlock and an atomosphere that is completely against the spirit of cricket.
4. It sets a ridiculous precedent. If Asif and Akhtar have their bans lifted, it will be plain for all to see that stars, South Asian stars, do not get punished for doping. Given the current miserable state of Indian and Sri Lankan cricket, could a doped-out Suresh Raina or Attapatu (two players in dire need of help) be next?
Asif and Akhtar may be indispensable to Pakistani cricket, but are they really worth ruining the whole game for?
1. The PCB has unilaterally declared Akhtar and Asif not-guilty of doping. The ICC has yet to even comment on the matter and the World Anti-Doping Agency is toothless in this jurisdiction. Does this mean that any cricket board can exonerate their players of doping charges? That too without unanimity, but rather 2-1 in 3 man tribunal. What if Tendulkar is caught cheating, or Jayasuriya. Surely the respective boards would love to save their careers and the team's chances. Shouldn't the ICC be the body with the final say on this matter.
2. Asian teams risk losing the goodwill of other teams in the sport. We got our way with Darrell Hair. If we want cricket to remain non-politicised, South Asian teams should be more responsible when playing by the rules. Akhtar and Asif were found with banned substances in their body. The fact that they may have not knowingly ingested them, is a failure of the Pakistani Cricket establishment and not really the concern of the ICC, or the other teams.
3. I can see Akhtar and Asif being sledged and abused if they play again. While this would still be untoward and unseemly, it would be very hard to fault the other teams. This creates deadlock and an atomosphere that is completely against the spirit of cricket.
4. It sets a ridiculous precedent. If Asif and Akhtar have their bans lifted, it will be plain for all to see that stars, South Asian stars, do not get punished for doping. Given the current miserable state of Indian and Sri Lankan cricket, could a doped-out Suresh Raina or Attapatu (two players in dire need of help) be next?
Asif and Akhtar may be indispensable to Pakistani cricket, but are they really worth ruining the whole game for?
Australian Cricket - a great kick up the arse for the rest
Anyone who watched Australia turn the 2nd Ashes test against England, in the last day no less, has to be getting closer to Aussie fan-hood, mate. What a game. What a team. Nine wickets and 169 runs in one day. I sat in shock throughout the entire spectacle.
The day opened with Warne spinning rings around the English batsmen. When Pieterson got bowled around his legs attempting a sweep, it was plain to see that Warne was back. He lifted the entire side, his enthusiasm having a visible effect on the more sedate McGrath and Clarke. The English were bundled out like a beggar out of a five start hotel.
The Aussie reply was nothing short of clinical. Langer signalled the Aussie plan of action by hoiking the first ball for four. What followed was pure channelled agression as the Aussies made England the butt of yet another dismal record. England's first innings score was the highest scored by a losing side in a Test match. Flintoff must be scratching his head raw and crying himself to sleep has he reflects on this most resounding displays of Aussie power.
I normally cannot stand Aussie cricket. It is loud, boorish and overly efficient. Aussie batsmen are ugly, all singles ticking over and hubris and its bowlers overly talkative and irritating. Even master craftsmen like Warne and McGrath sully the beauty of their work by excessive appealing and jawing at the batsmen. They dont have a Tendulkar, a de Silva, a Miandad. But they have a team, a unit, a veritable cricketing army. And can they play, oh hell can they play. Australia has delivered a telling warning to all other teams in the build-up for the World Cup. The Superpower can only be beaten with Nuclear Weapons.
Speaking of the World Cup, I feel that Aussie cricket needs another vote of thanks for its fans. While Aussie cricketers force everyone else to lift their game, their rabid fans bring in money by the million. Aussie stadiums are packed to the rafters by fans clamouring to see Australia beat another team black and blue. Their sledging and abusing aside, their money keeps the game's treasuries ticking over with the second most valuable and most commonly spent currency in world cricket (the Aussie dollar is a singularly ugly currency though, a shame). The passion for cricket is alive and well in the Land Down Under, and its a postive sign for the future of the game.
Australia and its fans have set a standard for committment to the game. Lets just hope that our Brown Boys can even compete against the fighting Kangaroos come West Indies 2007.
The day opened with Warne spinning rings around the English batsmen. When Pieterson got bowled around his legs attempting a sweep, it was plain to see that Warne was back. He lifted the entire side, his enthusiasm having a visible effect on the more sedate McGrath and Clarke. The English were bundled out like a beggar out of a five start hotel.
The Aussie reply was nothing short of clinical. Langer signalled the Aussie plan of action by hoiking the first ball for four. What followed was pure channelled agression as the Aussies made England the butt of yet another dismal record. England's first innings score was the highest scored by a losing side in a Test match. Flintoff must be scratching his head raw and crying himself to sleep has he reflects on this most resounding displays of Aussie power.
I normally cannot stand Aussie cricket. It is loud, boorish and overly efficient. Aussie batsmen are ugly, all singles ticking over and hubris and its bowlers overly talkative and irritating. Even master craftsmen like Warne and McGrath sully the beauty of their work by excessive appealing and jawing at the batsmen. They dont have a Tendulkar, a de Silva, a Miandad. But they have a team, a unit, a veritable cricketing army. And can they play, oh hell can they play. Australia has delivered a telling warning to all other teams in the build-up for the World Cup. The Superpower can only be beaten with Nuclear Weapons.
Speaking of the World Cup, I feel that Aussie cricket needs another vote of thanks for its fans. While Aussie cricketers force everyone else to lift their game, their rabid fans bring in money by the million. Aussie stadiums are packed to the rafters by fans clamouring to see Australia beat another team black and blue. Their sledging and abusing aside, their money keeps the game's treasuries ticking over with the second most valuable and most commonly spent currency in world cricket (the Aussie dollar is a singularly ugly currency though, a shame). The passion for cricket is alive and well in the Land Down Under, and its a postive sign for the future of the game.
Australia and its fans have set a standard for committment to the game. Lets just hope that our Brown Boys can even compete against the fighting Kangaroos come West Indies 2007.
Monday, December 4, 2006
Condoning Colonisation...an enduring South Asian folly
My mother is fond of saying that the British should have never left Sri Lanka. She says that they left us with their universal language, functioning roads and railways and an excellent system of Government. From the title of my post, you can probably discern that I violently disagree. My mother's argument, though oft-repeated by the most intellectual South Asians you will ever meet, is utter bollocks.
It presupposes that South Asians are genetically incapable of building decent infrastructure, using their language for business or governing themselves. It also uses the evidence of the present to justify this false glorification of a terrible past. My reply to this foolishness is that the present is so miserable because the British left it that way. Hundreds of years of looting and "one-against-another" power politics does not leave a nation stronger, it leaves it divided and physically, culturally and economically raped. The British didnt build their infrastructure to help anyone, they built it to help them steal. The British left their language behind so that generations of ass-kissers could kiss ass without the British having to learn the local language. The British left their excellent system of Government behind to justify the cruelties and injustices they heaped up on the people according to a system on the pliant elite understood.
Ofcoure the elite in South Asia will never agree to my argument. They, we, I, have been fed and fattened, distanced from the rif-raff, by the giant wall that is the English language. The lower-caste, the godeyas, the tribals dont have its magical powers, we do. We have spent the last 50 yrs or so after independence further strengthening these inequalities. In fact, we have even used the divisions the British left us (between Hindu and Muslim, Sinhala and Tamil) to pursue policies that maintain power within the English-speaking elite (which is always curiously composed of members from every community, happily accumulating Pounds Sterling). South Asians remain as divided (or more so) as the British found us and later left us, only along different cleavages.
The current generation is not exempted from this attempt at using English as a boot on the neck of national culture and the poor, uneducated majority of South Asia. We do not harbour any ambitions to teach our countrymen English, to share our magical knowledge, but rather we laugh at them as villagers who are not part of the "Globalised World".
This is all in stark contrast to the South East Asians (not including Singapore), Chinese and Japanese. They have never learned English in the same way that South Asians have. They produce no Booker Prize winners, no Nobel Prize winners for Literature, no blockbuster movies half-in-English-half-in-Hindi. We look down upon them for "their lack of creativity". I would argue that they use the West for the only thing the West is good for, trade and the production of nice things. Each of these nations treats the defeat of colonisation as a great and important national event, and I have yet to meet a citizen of these countries who wishes that the British never left.
We have a lot to learn from the chinky-eyed, yellow people that we share a giant continent with. I just hope that we pick up Mandarin as well as we have picked up English.
It presupposes that South Asians are genetically incapable of building decent infrastructure, using their language for business or governing themselves. It also uses the evidence of the present to justify this false glorification of a terrible past. My reply to this foolishness is that the present is so miserable because the British left it that way. Hundreds of years of looting and "one-against-another" power politics does not leave a nation stronger, it leaves it divided and physically, culturally and economically raped. The British didnt build their infrastructure to help anyone, they built it to help them steal. The British left their language behind so that generations of ass-kissers could kiss ass without the British having to learn the local language. The British left their excellent system of Government behind to justify the cruelties and injustices they heaped up on the people according to a system on the pliant elite understood.
Ofcoure the elite in South Asia will never agree to my argument. They, we, I, have been fed and fattened, distanced from the rif-raff, by the giant wall that is the English language. The lower-caste, the godeyas, the tribals dont have its magical powers, we do. We have spent the last 50 yrs or so after independence further strengthening these inequalities. In fact, we have even used the divisions the British left us (between Hindu and Muslim, Sinhala and Tamil) to pursue policies that maintain power within the English-speaking elite (which is always curiously composed of members from every community, happily accumulating Pounds Sterling). South Asians remain as divided (or more so) as the British found us and later left us, only along different cleavages.
The current generation is not exempted from this attempt at using English as a boot on the neck of national culture and the poor, uneducated majority of South Asia. We do not harbour any ambitions to teach our countrymen English, to share our magical knowledge, but rather we laugh at them as villagers who are not part of the "Globalised World".
This is all in stark contrast to the South East Asians (not including Singapore), Chinese and Japanese. They have never learned English in the same way that South Asians have. They produce no Booker Prize winners, no Nobel Prize winners for Literature, no blockbuster movies half-in-English-half-in-Hindi. We look down upon them for "their lack of creativity". I would argue that they use the West for the only thing the West is good for, trade and the production of nice things. Each of these nations treats the defeat of colonisation as a great and important national event, and I have yet to meet a citizen of these countries who wishes that the British never left.
We have a lot to learn from the chinky-eyed, yellow people that we share a giant continent with. I just hope that we pick up Mandarin as well as we have picked up English.
Counterfeiting combats Colonisation
Recently the fad of denouncing "fakes, copies, imitations and knock-offs" has become a popular sport with the well heeled South Asian community. These Friedman loving, English-educated, free marketeers think that "faking" is ruining the world's trading system and undermining intellectual property rights around the world. At the same time, US trade officials suppress a chuckle about free trade, and are preparing to subsidise produce growers (people who grow garlic, onions, olives and other foodstuffs of variable quality) in addition to commodities subsidies they already offer on cotton and wheat. This interesting intersection of South Asian stupidity and Western political acumen gave me an idea on how to reverse the wrongs of colonisation.
All of us, atleast in public, deride the damage inflicted on the world by colonisation. But none of us do anything about it. Actually, I think we do. The formerly colonised world is the epicenter of the world's counterfeiting "epidemic". I think there is ironic justice and a great deal of sense in this. I base my arguments on the following points:
1. The Western world's colonisation resulted in a massive loss of resources and human capital which would have been (even taking into account corruption, mismanangement and all other cock) invested into the development of science, technology and creativity. The colonised peoples of this world are today churning out inventions, studies and designs in all MNCs and Western universities, so there is no good reason to believe that they couldn't have done it on their own. To make up for the giant shove backwards that the West inflicted on us, I believe that faking their technology, designs and science is a legitimate way forward. Our people deserve to leave better, healthier and more comfortable lives. The open and mass-scale stealing of intellectual property has served the populations of India, China and Malaysia well and built up the economies of Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwan. I feel that this sudden bone-headed move into the criminalisation of copyright will just stop development in its tracks. People will have to buy over priced books, education, technology, medicine and clothing all to maintain the silly legalese of "intellectual property". Erm, India wants to charge for the use of the zero, the Chinese wants royalties on gunpowder and the Arabs would like marine navigation please.
2. The colonised world today is placed brilliantly to avoid "retaliation" from Western countries. Imagine the US or UK imposing trade embargoes on India or China. The concept is laughable. In the first place, most of these "copyrighted" goods is made in the formerly-colonised world. We could just term it "technology transfer", as the Chinese cynically do. In fact I think their "you want our market, share you're skills" philosophy is the best business strategy for nations dealing with Western companies struggling for growth.
3. The thought of millions of people living in poverty or dying of diseases because MS Word or HIV medication is too expensive is just sickening. The advent of intellectual property added momentum to the already destructive forces of free marketeering. Today the software wallahs and pharmaceutical dons of India/China/Brazil export "property" that could easily save the lives of millions of their countrymen and earn them millions as well.
I am not suggesting that the colonised peoples of this world steal indiscriminately and prevent retribution by force (economic or otherwise). That would just make us as bad as them. But we should let them know that if they want our markets, they'll have to share their technology. At most, it should at long last re-balance the inequities of armed colonisation. At the very least, we should use this opportunity to show the West that you cannot enjoy a free lunch forever.
All of us, atleast in public, deride the damage inflicted on the world by colonisation. But none of us do anything about it. Actually, I think we do. The formerly colonised world is the epicenter of the world's counterfeiting "epidemic". I think there is ironic justice and a great deal of sense in this. I base my arguments on the following points:
1. The Western world's colonisation resulted in a massive loss of resources and human capital which would have been (even taking into account corruption, mismanangement and all other cock) invested into the development of science, technology and creativity. The colonised peoples of this world are today churning out inventions, studies and designs in all MNCs and Western universities, so there is no good reason to believe that they couldn't have done it on their own. To make up for the giant shove backwards that the West inflicted on us, I believe that faking their technology, designs and science is a legitimate way forward. Our people deserve to leave better, healthier and more comfortable lives. The open and mass-scale stealing of intellectual property has served the populations of India, China and Malaysia well and built up the economies of Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwan. I feel that this sudden bone-headed move into the criminalisation of copyright will just stop development in its tracks. People will have to buy over priced books, education, technology, medicine and clothing all to maintain the silly legalese of "intellectual property". Erm, India wants to charge for the use of the zero, the Chinese wants royalties on gunpowder and the Arabs would like marine navigation please.
2. The colonised world today is placed brilliantly to avoid "retaliation" from Western countries. Imagine the US or UK imposing trade embargoes on India or China. The concept is laughable. In the first place, most of these "copyrighted" goods is made in the formerly-colonised world. We could just term it "technology transfer", as the Chinese cynically do. In fact I think their "you want our market, share you're skills" philosophy is the best business strategy for nations dealing with Western companies struggling for growth.
3. The thought of millions of people living in poverty or dying of diseases because MS Word or HIV medication is too expensive is just sickening. The advent of intellectual property added momentum to the already destructive forces of free marketeering. Today the software wallahs and pharmaceutical dons of India/China/Brazil export "property" that could easily save the lives of millions of their countrymen and earn them millions as well.
I am not suggesting that the colonised peoples of this world steal indiscriminately and prevent retribution by force (economic or otherwise). That would just make us as bad as them. But we should let them know that if they want our markets, they'll have to share their technology. At most, it should at long last re-balance the inequities of armed colonisation. At the very least, we should use this opportunity to show the West that you cannot enjoy a free lunch forever.
American Hypocrisy over Human Rights
Just days after the UN's resident genius Allan Rock rebuked the GOSL for assisting Karuna in recruiting child soldiers, I see this on IHT:
http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/12/04/america/web.1204detain.php?page=1
The article talks about the conditions suffered by detainess in the U.S. These people have not been charged and have not been tried. The public has no idea about the nature of their alleged crimes, the circumstances of their arrest and until now, the conditions of their incarceration.
I want you to read the entire article, so I am not going to talk about it all. After reading the article, please remember that the EU has also admitted to such prisions, then reflect on whether the Western World can really afford to talk down to even North Korea about human rights. Let alone Sri Lanka.
"Hypocrisy" does not even begin to express the situation.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/12/04/america/web.1204detain.php?page=1
The article talks about the conditions suffered by detainess in the U.S. These people have not been charged and have not been tried. The public has no idea about the nature of their alleged crimes, the circumstances of their arrest and until now, the conditions of their incarceration.
I want you to read the entire article, so I am not going to talk about it all. After reading the article, please remember that the EU has also admitted to such prisions, then reflect on whether the Western World can really afford to talk down to even North Korea about human rights. Let alone Sri Lanka.
"Hypocrisy" does not even begin to express the situation.
Yousuf - Islam as it is meant to be
Mohammed Yousuf aka Yousuf Youhana has had a banner cricketing year. He has been the bedrock of the Pakistani middle order and set Pakistani and International records for runs scored in a year and centuries in a year. He has been compared to Vivian Richards, Javed Miandad and Inzie. But it isnt his talent that has won him the most accolades, it is his humility and quiet devoutness.
After initially struggling with his new religion (Yousuf is a Catholic converted to Islam), which was reflected his batting, he was finally come to terms with the demands and joys of his faith. He openly attributes Islam to improving his batting by giving him peace of mind, faith and concentration. Yet this is not the grating, "Praise be to Allah" statements made famous by Pakistani cricketers over the years. Yousuf simply states fact. There is no preachy, jihadi or evangelist tone in his thanks to God for his success.
He has also shown remarkable humility by rejecting comparisons with the game's greats, Pakistani and otherwise. He recognises that he has a long way to go before being even Pakistan's best batsman. This humility is rare in a South Asian batsmen and I feel that it will stand him in good stead in the volatile and cut-throat world of Pakistani cricket.
I have always loved Pakistani cricket and I am joyful that they have found form so close to the World Cup. If there is one person besides Mahela Jayawardene I want to see lift up the Cup, it will be the shy, overly bearded, Yousuf. After the debacles of Asif and Akhtar, Pakistan Cricket has finally found a hero to be proud of.
After initially struggling with his new religion (Yousuf is a Catholic converted to Islam), which was reflected his batting, he was finally come to terms with the demands and joys of his faith. He openly attributes Islam to improving his batting by giving him peace of mind, faith and concentration. Yet this is not the grating, "Praise be to Allah" statements made famous by Pakistani cricketers over the years. Yousuf simply states fact. There is no preachy, jihadi or evangelist tone in his thanks to God for his success.
He has also shown remarkable humility by rejecting comparisons with the game's greats, Pakistani and otherwise. He recognises that he has a long way to go before being even Pakistan's best batsman. This humility is rare in a South Asian batsmen and I feel that it will stand him in good stead in the volatile and cut-throat world of Pakistani cricket.
I have always loved Pakistani cricket and I am joyful that they have found form so close to the World Cup. If there is one person besides Mahela Jayawardene I want to see lift up the Cup, it will be the shy, overly bearded, Yousuf. After the debacles of Asif and Akhtar, Pakistan Cricket has finally found a hero to be proud of.
Hopes for the Sri Lankan tour of NZ
Our boys have landed with a bang in Kiwi-land. Though bad weather forced a draw in the 3 day game against Otago, Sri Lanka should be pleased that every batsmen in the team got some serious time out in the middle. This was especially good newes for our vulnerable middle order with the new guns firing on all cylinders. The Srinath-decapitated Lanka Silva is finally back with his mix of flamboyant batting and verbal cacaphony.
I think we might have a good chance of being the second South Asian team to have a good showing overseas. The series nicely coincides with my India trip, so humiliating the Indians (further) will be very convinient. The NZ pitches may be green and mean, but with our batting line up looking good, one wonders if Bond and friends will be able to find their stride. They just might have to resort to search for lost balls amongst the sheep droppings as Jaya, Sanga and company come into form.
All my Lankan readers would do well to emulate me: go out and get an SL cricket jersey and scream, clap and cheer as we use the Kiwi to polish our shoes. The SL cricket team is the one national insitution we can all be proud of and is worthy of our support.
I think we might have a good chance of being the second South Asian team to have a good showing overseas. The series nicely coincides with my India trip, so humiliating the Indians (further) will be very convinient. The NZ pitches may be green and mean, but with our batting line up looking good, one wonders if Bond and friends will be able to find their stride. They just might have to resort to search for lost balls amongst the sheep droppings as Jaya, Sanga and company come into form.
All my Lankan readers would do well to emulate me: go out and get an SL cricket jersey and scream, clap and cheer as we use the Kiwi to polish our shoes. The SL cricket team is the one national insitution we can all be proud of and is worthy of our support.
Conflict Resumes
Being stopped at thrice at security checkpoints over the few km from the airport to my house, told me that all was not well in the Emerald Isle. In fact, we are heading very steadily back to total war. Following an attempt on the life of Rajapakse's brother in the heart of Colombo (near my beloved Mango Tree restaurant), the GOSL is reconsidering its relationship with the LTTE. In other words, they are wondering if they should ban it and attempt to kill it. To ease their decision making, they have ordered that Norway cease discussions with the LTTE. This renders that benevolent fishing nation an outsider to the entire process and leaves both sides happily at each other's throats.
We should have all seen this coming when Uncle Prabha issued his idiotic Heroes Day speech. He was calling for the elusive Tamil nation of Eelam again, claiming the "Sinhala chauvanists" had left the Tamil people with little choice at a "turning point" in their history. I agree with a brilliant editorial in The Hindu, which exposes this nonsense for the deranged bollocks that it is. The Tamil people and all other parties to the Sri Lankan conflict have heard this speech before, to the point of deja vu. Anything short of Eelam was never on the cards for Prabha, the GOSL was just negotiating so that he might one day die of fatigue at the negotiating table, as Mr. Balasingam is apparently going to do. Yes, I made fun of a person having cancer, you can kindly take SQ 468 and suck my balls if you think I am going to have any sympathy for a Tiger, cancer-riddled or not. The Tamil people have also heard of these turning points before. In reality, they are not at all involved in any decision making process. Instead the LTTE makes decisions for them, like the Kasparov-like decision to try and blow up the President's brother. The masterstroke has put the Sinhala chauvanists firmly back in control of what was looking increasinly like a secular polity. With almost the same level of planning as an LTTE attack, the raving loony mobs of the JVP and JHU were out in force asking that the Tigers be banned and the nation go back to war.
What is worrying is how hard it is to argue with them now. The nation and the international community are being made fools of by Prabhakaran. The GOSL may even have been pushed to emulate his draconian security and recruitment measures. Allan Rock has given up trying to get the LTTE and has decided to pursue the easier and more vulnerable target of the GOSL. In other words, the conflict has come full circle. The Sinhalese are claiming that the LTTE is a bloody thirst bunch of scoundrels and the LTTE is claiming that the Sinhalese have no serious intentions of giving Tamils any form of meaningful representation.
All observers of the conflict will agree that both sides are right. The Sri Lankan conflict has confounded international pressure and politicians of all stripes for the last 26 years. And both sides seem more interested in spilling blood than shaking hands. The bleak, grey skies of the monsoon season should be taken as God's fair warning of what lies in store for Sri Lanka in 2007.
The Pearl of the Indian Ocean is starting to looking more and more like a giant teardrop.
We should have all seen this coming when Uncle Prabha issued his idiotic Heroes Day speech. He was calling for the elusive Tamil nation of Eelam again, claiming the "Sinhala chauvanists" had left the Tamil people with little choice at a "turning point" in their history. I agree with a brilliant editorial in The Hindu, which exposes this nonsense for the deranged bollocks that it is. The Tamil people and all other parties to the Sri Lankan conflict have heard this speech before, to the point of deja vu. Anything short of Eelam was never on the cards for Prabha, the GOSL was just negotiating so that he might one day die of fatigue at the negotiating table, as Mr. Balasingam is apparently going to do. Yes, I made fun of a person having cancer, you can kindly take SQ 468 and suck my balls if you think I am going to have any sympathy for a Tiger, cancer-riddled or not. The Tamil people have also heard of these turning points before. In reality, they are not at all involved in any decision making process. Instead the LTTE makes decisions for them, like the Kasparov-like decision to try and blow up the President's brother. The masterstroke has put the Sinhala chauvanists firmly back in control of what was looking increasinly like a secular polity. With almost the same level of planning as an LTTE attack, the raving loony mobs of the JVP and JHU were out in force asking that the Tigers be banned and the nation go back to war.
What is worrying is how hard it is to argue with them now. The nation and the international community are being made fools of by Prabhakaran. The GOSL may even have been pushed to emulate his draconian security and recruitment measures. Allan Rock has given up trying to get the LTTE and has decided to pursue the easier and more vulnerable target of the GOSL. In other words, the conflict has come full circle. The Sinhalese are claiming that the LTTE is a bloody thirst bunch of scoundrels and the LTTE is claiming that the Sinhalese have no serious intentions of giving Tamils any form of meaningful representation.
All observers of the conflict will agree that both sides are right. The Sri Lankan conflict has confounded international pressure and politicians of all stripes for the last 26 years. And both sides seem more interested in spilling blood than shaking hands. The bleak, grey skies of the monsoon season should be taken as God's fair warning of what lies in store for Sri Lanka in 2007.
The Pearl of the Indian Ocean is starting to looking more and more like a giant teardrop.
Do we really learn anything in University?
I have often wondered if we really learn anything in the three years and thousands of dollars we spend in University. The fact that all major companies insist on months-long training courses and associate programmes proves that the corporate world certainly feels that the average University graduate learns sweet buggerall. An University education is just proof you're intelligence it seems, nothing more than a drawn out IQ test.
I have a plan to resolve this situation. Hold you're bows and kisses till the conclusion though, for my idea is radical and not necessarily democratic. I plan to make the highest and lowest scoring students in every class submit a report to the Professor on the practical value of what they has learnt. The highest scoring student should be decently paid for this activity while the lowest student can get a grade upgrade for a good report. The students' reports should be matched against the Professor's own account of the practically useful material in the course. During the summer holidays, some poor sod, possibly an intern, should shift through the reports and make recommendations to Professors as to what they are lacking or doing well in.
Should the lack of practical knowledge in an University education worry us at all? My answer is a resounding YES. If an University education teaches us nothing, then we at the mercy of other people's large corporations. We are not taught the skills to start our businesses, become day traders or enter the workforce on the lower, practical end (where there are no elite training courses and school of hard knocks has a higher entry requirment for coddled college students).
In other words, a practical University degree ensures that if we miss the Mercedes and Beamers of the MNC world, we can take a bus or taxi. After 3 years of wasting our lives in lectures, we shouldn't be left walking in the rain.
I have a plan to resolve this situation. Hold you're bows and kisses till the conclusion though, for my idea is radical and not necessarily democratic. I plan to make the highest and lowest scoring students in every class submit a report to the Professor on the practical value of what they has learnt. The highest scoring student should be decently paid for this activity while the lowest student can get a grade upgrade for a good report. The students' reports should be matched against the Professor's own account of the practically useful material in the course. During the summer holidays, some poor sod, possibly an intern, should shift through the reports and make recommendations to Professors as to what they are lacking or doing well in.
Should the lack of practical knowledge in an University education worry us at all? My answer is a resounding YES. If an University education teaches us nothing, then we at the mercy of other people's large corporations. We are not taught the skills to start our businesses, become day traders or enter the workforce on the lower, practical end (where there are no elite training courses and school of hard knocks has a higher entry requirment for coddled college students).
In other words, a practical University degree ensures that if we miss the Mercedes and Beamers of the MNC world, we can take a bus or taxi. After 3 years of wasting our lives in lectures, we shouldn't be left walking in the rain.
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Puma Redefined
As you may have noticed, I am putting the "elegant" back into elegantexile and bringing you more news from Singapore's vibrant designer scene. Following a serious financial crunch, I have only been able to shop on the day before I left the little pretentious island. But what a day. I have already described to you the joys of the Armani Exchange sale, but my best experiences were at the Heeren Shopping centre, where I was looking for an obscure music cd (anyone have Laterlus by Tool, Chathuranga will blow you for it). All things considered, Heeren is a fuckall mall. It is made for young people with little money and even less style. Basically those multi-cultured, multi-coloured losers who try and look Biker, but end up looking like road kill.
Nestled between the cheap crap and Swatch stores, I chanced upon a Puma store. Not just any Puma store, THE Puma store. In this magical world, Puma collaborates with Alexander McQueen, Mihara and Neil Barrett. Together, they create amazing shoes:
1. Sports shoes with dress details. Like Barrett's sports shoes with leather soles or patent leather uppers, embroidery or antique details. On the flip side, McQueen mixes utter techno with old-skool brit quirkiness. Mihara serves up flawless Japanese "you better be fucking rich if you want to spend so much on an seemingly empty shoe" minimalist style. There is serious fun in trying to locate the subtle Puma claw which is hidden somewhere on all the shoes. Basically fusion and fashion orgams abound. These shoes are a serious match for the sports shoe offerings of Gucci, LV and Prada (the only real players in an overcrowded game).
2. Clothes from the above affialiations. I find them a bit overpriced and in a non-discernable market niche (if you want overpriced funky t-shirts, go buy Diesel). But if you are the type who is into Y-3 by Adidas or the entire "wearing expensive sportswear to go clubbing"scene, then by all means, buy the clothes too.
It is a trendy little shop tucked away near the DBS atm at Heeren. And it is here in which I feel the shop fails. It is a shitty location, in a shitty mall and the owners obviously did not have the cash to buy a larger collection of the SGD$500 leisurewear masterpieces. The sooner someone better heeled finds the shop, buys the franchise and places it on the second floor of Paragon, Takashimaya, Forum or the Hilton, the better. Even the forgotten Palais Rennaisance would be arite.
That being said, I think have my clubbing shoe situation sorted for next term (which is a problem at the moment, since my friends think my Gucci shoes are Adidas with one less stripe). Unless ofcourse the puny little place doesnt have my size. Curse Chinese men, for their small feet and smaller imaginations.
Too bad they are the only people who earn enough to set up a limited edition Puma shop, or buy its products.
P.S to pre-empt the South Asian assholes who will be commenting on the "gay-ness" of this post, I politely ask that you fuck yourself and grow up. Clothes maketh the man....bitch.
Nestled between the cheap crap and Swatch stores, I chanced upon a Puma store. Not just any Puma store, THE Puma store. In this magical world, Puma collaborates with Alexander McQueen, Mihara and Neil Barrett. Together, they create amazing shoes:
1. Sports shoes with dress details. Like Barrett's sports shoes with leather soles or patent leather uppers, embroidery or antique details. On the flip side, McQueen mixes utter techno with old-skool brit quirkiness. Mihara serves up flawless Japanese "you better be fucking rich if you want to spend so much on an seemingly empty shoe" minimalist style. There is serious fun in trying to locate the subtle Puma claw which is hidden somewhere on all the shoes. Basically fusion and fashion orgams abound. These shoes are a serious match for the sports shoe offerings of Gucci, LV and Prada (the only real players in an overcrowded game).
2. Clothes from the above affialiations. I find them a bit overpriced and in a non-discernable market niche (if you want overpriced funky t-shirts, go buy Diesel). But if you are the type who is into Y-3 by Adidas or the entire "wearing expensive sportswear to go clubbing"scene, then by all means, buy the clothes too.
It is a trendy little shop tucked away near the DBS atm at Heeren. And it is here in which I feel the shop fails. It is a shitty location, in a shitty mall and the owners obviously did not have the cash to buy a larger collection of the SGD$500 leisurewear masterpieces. The sooner someone better heeled finds the shop, buys the franchise and places it on the second floor of Paragon, Takashimaya, Forum or the Hilton, the better. Even the forgotten Palais Rennaisance would be arite.
That being said, I think have my clubbing shoe situation sorted for next term (which is a problem at the moment, since my friends think my Gucci shoes are Adidas with one less stripe). Unless ofcourse the puny little place doesnt have my size. Curse Chinese men, for their small feet and smaller imaginations.
Too bad they are the only people who earn enough to set up a limited edition Puma shop, or buy its products.
P.S to pre-empt the South Asian assholes who will be commenting on the "gay-ness" of this post, I politely ask that you fuck yourself and grow up. Clothes maketh the man....bitch.
The Armani Exchange Sale
I have decided to share with readers another facet of my life besides my opinions on politics, religion and people. Shopping. Specifically, the blatant, sinful wastage of money that is Orchard Road shopping. This is my first post in what I hope is a long series of posts of my shopping excursions on the only-road-worth-seeing in Singapore.
Armani Exchange is having its annual fall sale as I write. At the same time, its new collection is being subtly introduced. Highlights include:
1. Great prices on extreme cold wear. This catchall self-created category includes trenchcoats, pea-coats (please look up what that is, this isnt really a fashion blog), overcoats and just plain thick coats. There are also those disgusting puffy polyester coats with fur collars. Please beware though, the sizes run from large to very large (another season of frustration for designers who forget that Chinese men really are puny little buggers).
2. Around 30-40% off on AX's typically psychedelic shirts. I dont find these shirts too appealing as they are clearly made for the fair, good looking, party crowd. I am none of the above, but if you are, there's never been a better style to pick up some Himesh-wear for the holidays.
3. Jeans. I have always hated AX jeans by virtue of their ridiculous brand positioning (competing with Armani Jeans, more expensive that Levis/Guess/CK but lower cache than Diesel and Energie). However, if you want great looking jeans in a bewildering array of styles for cheaper than Diesel or other euro-trash-over-hyped brands, then AX has the pants for you.
4. Their new collection is quite frankly brilliant. Obviously made for clubbing holidays, the collection includes black and tan tailored jackets and a wide collections of the famous black AX t-shirt. Giving you a wide array of show-off options, these t-shirts include every possible variation and placement of the AX logo.
After losing faith in the brand over the last academic term, I feel that AX is slowly finding its feet again. Upon realising that my credit card was maxed, I spent the last dollars in my bank account on an AX polo-t that had a leather details and an "Armani Exchange" signature motif on the left shoulder.
I plan on rocking "Elevate" in Delhi in it. Aja aja aja aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh....
Armani Exchange is having its annual fall sale as I write. At the same time, its new collection is being subtly introduced. Highlights include:
1. Great prices on extreme cold wear. This catchall self-created category includes trenchcoats, pea-coats (please look up what that is, this isnt really a fashion blog), overcoats and just plain thick coats. There are also those disgusting puffy polyester coats with fur collars. Please beware though, the sizes run from large to very large (another season of frustration for designers who forget that Chinese men really are puny little buggers).
2. Around 30-40% off on AX's typically psychedelic shirts. I dont find these shirts too appealing as they are clearly made for the fair, good looking, party crowd. I am none of the above, but if you are, there's never been a better style to pick up some Himesh-wear for the holidays.
3. Jeans. I have always hated AX jeans by virtue of their ridiculous brand positioning (competing with Armani Jeans, more expensive that Levis/Guess/CK but lower cache than Diesel and Energie). However, if you want great looking jeans in a bewildering array of styles for cheaper than Diesel or other euro-trash-over-hyped brands, then AX has the pants for you.
4. Their new collection is quite frankly brilliant. Obviously made for clubbing holidays, the collection includes black and tan tailored jackets and a wide collections of the famous black AX t-shirt. Giving you a wide array of show-off options, these t-shirts include every possible variation and placement of the AX logo.
After losing faith in the brand over the last academic term, I feel that AX is slowly finding its feet again. Upon realising that my credit card was maxed, I spent the last dollars in my bank account on an AX polo-t that had a leather details and an "Armani Exchange" signature motif on the left shoulder.
I plan on rocking "Elevate" in Delhi in it. Aja aja aja aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh....
Checkpoints - They are just doing their job
I'm back in monsoon-whipped Colombo. After speeding through immigration and customs, both of which were unusually polite and accomodating, I got my first dose of reality at the check points. Three of them. Over the 30 km it is from the airport to my house. All of them were rude, guns pointed and scowling faced affairs. My mum, brother and I had a good laugh at each one. Making jokes about police officers in English is a risky, yet highly amusing game. But I feel bad men.
Three bodyguards recently gave their lives to save an easily replaceable Minister. Every day cops, soldiers, airmen and sailors give their lives or risk them for a nation that by and large appreciates their effort. But Colombo people, the best protected and best fed people in the country, despise the armed forces. They complain about harassment and delays, of unproffesionalism and aggression, of rudeness and sinhala tests. They have the time and the spare concern to feel for the plight of the people in the North and East, and lambast the security forces for lack of restraint. But do they ever once put themselves in the shoes of anyone from the armed forces.
Even taking into account corruption, profiteering and looting, the average income of the security forces personnel hovers around that of a Colombo-employed clerk. Imagine being paid as much as bored and inefficient paper-pusher, to stand in the sun all day checking vehicles that may carry bombs or armed men. Now add the daily humiliation from rich Sinhalese people that vent their day's frustration on the hapless security personnel. Imagine if our hypothetical solider could read, he would read about how his profession is considered barbaric and power-hungry, while the pencil-pushers are "driving the growth of the nation, and forming a sizeable middle class which consumes washing machines, fridges and even computers". This while his wife may one day become a widow or his son grow up without a father. There are no washing machines, fridges in the house of the average soliders. A computer is a faraway dream.
I would ask you to imagine the trials and privations of a combat soldier, and what could drive him to excesses against people who are shooting at him all day. But I assume my readers have a modicum of intelligence, so I will save you the story.
The next time any of us are harassed by security personnel, just grin, bear and bribe if you have to.
The security guy irritating you is just doing his job.
Three bodyguards recently gave their lives to save an easily replaceable Minister. Every day cops, soldiers, airmen and sailors give their lives or risk them for a nation that by and large appreciates their effort. But Colombo people, the best protected and best fed people in the country, despise the armed forces. They complain about harassment and delays, of unproffesionalism and aggression, of rudeness and sinhala tests. They have the time and the spare concern to feel for the plight of the people in the North and East, and lambast the security forces for lack of restraint. But do they ever once put themselves in the shoes of anyone from the armed forces.
Even taking into account corruption, profiteering and looting, the average income of the security forces personnel hovers around that of a Colombo-employed clerk. Imagine being paid as much as bored and inefficient paper-pusher, to stand in the sun all day checking vehicles that may carry bombs or armed men. Now add the daily humiliation from rich Sinhalese people that vent their day's frustration on the hapless security personnel. Imagine if our hypothetical solider could read, he would read about how his profession is considered barbaric and power-hungry, while the pencil-pushers are "driving the growth of the nation, and forming a sizeable middle class which consumes washing machines, fridges and even computers". This while his wife may one day become a widow or his son grow up without a father. There are no washing machines, fridges in the house of the average soliders. A computer is a faraway dream.
I would ask you to imagine the trials and privations of a combat soldier, and what could drive him to excesses against people who are shooting at him all day. But I assume my readers have a modicum of intelligence, so I will save you the story.
The next time any of us are harassed by security personnel, just grin, bear and bribe if you have to.
The security guy irritating you is just doing his job.
Praying in the Loo
Facing an Ethics exam for which I was intuitively, intellectually and academically unprepared, I decided to take the Christian way out. I prayed. In the bathroom. Why the bathroom you may ask?
Well, people of my/our generation look upon praying as something similar in style and substance to cannibalism. Something done by strange, superstitious people in primitive countries far away. So I hid my faith and prayed in the bathroom. I've been praying for exams in the bathroom for years now and its only this blogging thing that has given me the confidence to express my frustration.
It is just bloody wrong that religious people are treated like crackos and have to keep their faith locked in private homes and in public toilets. This while divisive political opinions are aired freely, couples grab each others' ass in public and gay ppl parade around in parodies of the opposite sex. I have no issues with any of these activities, and society does not permit me to have any issues. So why should political firebrands, horny couples and gay people have the right to look down on my religious "fervour"?
Blaming a disrespect of religion on the religious violence of the present is a cynical fallacy. World War 1, 2 were fought for political goals, all terrorism is based on political goals and World War 3 will also be fought over political goals. Wars have also been fought over money, race, colour, caste and nationalism. So why does religion come in for special flak?
Is it because religion is not compatible with the "mood of the times"? Anyone who believes that, elevates the status of the young, rich and cosmopolitan from an insignificant minority to the arbiter of global zeitgeist. This is ofcourse utter cock. The vast majority of the world in absolute terms is conservative, poor and religious.
Religion therefore should be enjoying a stable, respectable position in the modern world. But it doesnt. That explains the grumbling tone of this post.
I'm off to pray. For my generation.
Well, people of my/our generation look upon praying as something similar in style and substance to cannibalism. Something done by strange, superstitious people in primitive countries far away. So I hid my faith and prayed in the bathroom. I've been praying for exams in the bathroom for years now and its only this blogging thing that has given me the confidence to express my frustration.
It is just bloody wrong that religious people are treated like crackos and have to keep their faith locked in private homes and in public toilets. This while divisive political opinions are aired freely, couples grab each others' ass in public and gay ppl parade around in parodies of the opposite sex. I have no issues with any of these activities, and society does not permit me to have any issues. So why should political firebrands, horny couples and gay people have the right to look down on my religious "fervour"?
Blaming a disrespect of religion on the religious violence of the present is a cynical fallacy. World War 1, 2 were fought for political goals, all terrorism is based on political goals and World War 3 will also be fought over political goals. Wars have also been fought over money, race, colour, caste and nationalism. So why does religion come in for special flak?
Is it because religion is not compatible with the "mood of the times"? Anyone who believes that, elevates the status of the young, rich and cosmopolitan from an insignificant minority to the arbiter of global zeitgeist. This is ofcourse utter cock. The vast majority of the world in absolute terms is conservative, poor and religious.
Religion therefore should be enjoying a stable, respectable position in the modern world. But it doesnt. That explains the grumbling tone of this post.
I'm off to pray. For my generation.
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